


To Sleep (Perchance To Dream)

by ProfessorFlimflam



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Parenthood, RedVines Day, Sleep coach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23734207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorFlimflam/pseuds/ProfessorFlimflam
Summary: Bernie Wolfe is in love - with her baby daughter, Charlotte. She is sunny, happy, and all things lovely, but she Just. Won’t. Sleep. Husband Marcus is no help, and in desperation, Bernie turns to a sleep coach, expecting some new age bangle-wearing hippy. Serena Campbell turns out to be professional, knowledgeable and many other things besides.
Relationships: Marcus Dunn/Bernie Wolfe, Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 24
Kudos: 78
Collections: Redvines Day





	To Sleep (Perchance To Dream)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fortytworedvines](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortytworedvines/gifts).



> Important Disclaimer: I am not a sleep coach - and this is not a life coaching session! Please don’t take _any_ of this as advice! XD

“It’s just for a while, Bern, just until you can get her into a routine.”

Bernie looked at her husband in disbelief. 

“Come on, don’t be like that - you know I need my sleep if I’m going to be in theatre all day. And I do need to put in the hours if I’m going to make consultant this year. I’ll be back before you know it.”

So Marcus had moved out of the house, not long after the birth of their daughter, Charlotte. What he had conveniently forgotten was that Bernie was at least as ambitious as him, and far more talented. Had they been more careful, it would have been Bernie heading for promotion rather then him, but things were what they were, and though the timing was all wrong, she had fallen in love with her baby girl. She was a sweet little thing, all smiles and sunshine during the daytime, and the absolute apple of her mother’s eye.

The problem was that whatever they tried, she simply wouldn’t settle into a sleep routine. Bernie’s nights were an endless cycle of feeding, changing, cuddling and soothing - and now Cameron had started playing up, too. Bernie was on her own, run ragged with no support from Marcus even before he moved out, and she was at the end of her rope. Whatever baby Charlotte’s issues were, there was certainly nothing wrong with her lungs, and Bernie thought she might go mad if she didn’t start getting some decent sleep soon. A friend had suggested she hire a sleep coach, and although it sounded like expensive new age hippy nonsense to Bernie, she had tried everything else, and was frankly desperate for some sort of respite.

Serena Campbell, when Bernie met her, turned out to be anything but a hippy. She seemed efficient, businesslike, bright and breezy - and an absolute hoot. Their preliminary meeting was in a café not far from the house, and they took to each other straight away. Serena immediately laid some of Bernie’s fears to rest about her parenting skills, and Bernie knew she would be able to take advice from this kind, knowledgable and professional woman.

They started with some basics - making sure to keep things calm in the hours leading up to bedtime (more easily said than done with a toddler on the rampage), adjusting light levels in the baby’s room gradually to emulate the fading of daylight, and reinforcing the habit of naps during the daytime - none of it rocket science, and all things Bernie had done successfully with Cameron. Charlotte simply seemed to be a fussier baby, and it was frustrating that the things that had worked so easily with Cameron didn’t seem to have any impact on Charlotte’s ability to sleep.

“Well, you’ve hit the nail on the head there,” Serena said. “It’s frustration all round - you’re frustrated that she’s not emulating her brother’s sleeping habits, and she’s frustrated that you can’t understand whatever it is she’s trying to tell you. But the good news is that you can learn how to help each other through it - and I can help you both. I’m going to put together a plan for you - mostly around routine setting - and we’ll see how you get on with it. I’ll check in with you twice a week, either in person or by phone, whatever works best for us both.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” Bernie said gratefully as she gathered her things together and paid for coffee.  
“Maybe not,” Serena said with a twinkle in her eye, “but you can pay me enough! I’m not cheap, but I am good. If things don’t improve in the next few weeks, I’ve got plenty more tricks up my sleeve, so don’t worry if there’s no immediate upturn. We’ll get there together, you, me and Charlotte.”

***

Serena’s sleep improvement plan made an immediate difference, to Bernie’s amazement. New to her was the notion of “fading” - not simply dimming the lights, but gradually getting Charlotte used to idea of Bernie being in the room but not cuddling her, and once she had put Charlotte down, Bernie spent some time just sitting in the baby’s eye-line, and moving the chair a little further away each evening. This seemed to reassure the little thing that her mother was there, and she was safe, and that safety didn’t need to mean being picked up and cuddled. She still needed feeding a couple of times in the night, but feeding times started to become more predictable and evenly spaced, and Bernie managed to get stints of three or four hours sleep in between.

As Charlotte’s sleep improved, so did Bernie’s, and so did Cameron’s behaviour. He had been more than a little jealous of all the attention that Charlotte had needed from his mother, and hadn’t been able to understand where his father had gone, but things improved to such a point that Bernie managed to persuade Marcus to move back in, and for a while, everything was happy families again. Bernie rather regretfully settled Serena’s final invoice - she had come to enjoy their catch up meetings and to consider them a little treat, and it was hard to remind herself that Serena wasn’t her friend, just someone she paid to help her with a problem.

It wasn’t long, though, before things started to go downhill. Although they were maintaining the routines that Serena had helped establish, Charlotte had started getting restless again. No matter how calm and quiet they kept her room; no matter how much time Bernie spent sitting reassuringly by the cot, the baby simply couldn’t settle, and her crying seemed even more piercing than before.

In desperation, Bernie phoned Serena.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” she said, her voice wobbling. “We were doing so well, and I swear we haven’t changed anything, but it’s at least as bad as before, if not worse!”

“Don’t worry, Bernie, this is all perfectly normal - I’m sure you’re not doing anything wrong. But there probably has been some little change that’s insignificant to you, but that Charlotte has picked up on. Now, it’s a little more expensive, but I think it might be time to move to stage two. Do you have a spare room?”

Two days later, after some hasty rearrangement of furniture and all the detritus that had been dumped in the spare room, Serena moved in. She was discrete and unobtrusive, simply observing non-judgementally without interfering, but Bernie found her presence entirely reassuring. Not so Marcus, however.

“She’s conning you, Bern,” he whispered angrily on the second evening. “Can’t you see that? She’s got free bed and board, doesn’t lift a finger to help with Charlotte, and you’re paying her for the privilege! Give her her marching orders, or I will!”

Bernie certainly didn’t whisper her reply. “She’s not a nanny, Marcus - and would you please not call me Bern, I can’t remember how many times I’ve asked you, a thousand, I should think. She’s not her to help with feeding or changing - that’s _our_ job, remember, as parents? You do recall that Charlotte has two parents?”

The spare room being occupied, Marcus slept on the sofa that night.

***

It had been a difficult night. Charlotte had been awake nearly constantly, and as a result, so had Bernie. Marcus had either not heard, or had ignored the to-ing and fro-ing above his temporary accommodation in the living room, but Serena had kept Bernie company without complaint and without criticism. She had taken the baby briefly while Bernie had tried to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come while she was so wired about the whole situation, and the two women spent the night in quiet conversation, and on Bernie’s part, in tears of exhaustion and frustration. Serena was a shoulder to cry on, a rock to lean on and a spare pair of hands to help settle poor angry Charlotte.

The morning brought another angry half whispered, half shouted row, and by lunchtime, Marcus had repacked his bag and stormed out with a surly comment about his presence being obviously surplus to requirements.

“I can’t believe he’s done this again,” Bernie said furiously. “The first sign of things not going all his own way, he goes off in a sulk - he’s always been like this. I don’t think anyone ever said ‘no’ to him when he was a boy. Well, stuff him. I’ve been managing on my own - in fact, it was easier when he wasn’t here. Good riddance.” She huffed loudly, but it was clear that beneath the surface she was pretty shaky.

Serena was sympathetic but not indulgent. “It’s not ideal, and it’s very unsettling for the children - my first concern is to help Charlotte get back to where she was a few weeks ago. Go for a walk, or a run, or a scream - whatever you need to do - and then we get back down to the business of making things feel calm and safe for her, ok?”

Feeling chastened but understood, Bernie took the opportunity to get her running shoes out for the first time since Charlotte’s birth, and half an hour later she returned sweaty and panting, but absolutely glowing. 

“Aren’t endorphins amazing?” she exclaimed, laughing with the sheer exultation of having had thirty precious minutes to herself. “I’d forgotten how good it feels to run!”

“Not really my bag, to honest,” Serena replied drily, “but look who else is happy about it.” She was holding Charlotte, who gurgled gleefully seeing her mother laughing, and she reached out for her with grabby hands that caught in Bernie’s messy blonde curls. It was quite the picture, and Serena wondered privately when the baby had last seen Bernie laugh. “It seems to have done you the world of good - we’ll have to find a way to make your routine as important as Charlotte’s. Is there someone who can be with the children from time to time if your husband isn’t here - a grandparent, perhaps?”

Bernie sobered up. “I don’t think Marcus is going to be here. I mean, I think I’m going to suggest he doesn’t move back in. I need to be able to rely on him, and he’s shown that I just can’t - somehow it’s easier to know I’m doing it on my own than having to wonder if he’s going be around and actually going to help.”

Serena smiled kindly. “Try not to make any big decisions just yet,” she said. “Things are going to be up and down for a while - I’d say try not to burn any bridges. But I do understand about having some sort of certainty - and that’s what Charlotte needs, too. So yes, let’s work on the assumption that it’s you and the children for a while now. What other support have you got around you?”

Serena’s encouragement gave Bernie the confidence to rally the troops in a way that she hadn’t liked to previously, and a few phone calls later, she had arranged several regular babysitting sessions during the week so that she could go out running or just get out of the house on her own. Charlotte was comfortable with her neighbour Kathy and her daughter Suzy, and they agreed that they could spend a bit of time getting the baby used to being without Mum for an hour at a time.

“I can’t tell you how much better I feel for sorting all this out,” Bernie said. “It’s all a bit above and beyond your remit - I’m sorry.” But Serena shook her head.

“Happy parents help provide the right environment for a happy baby - it’s all tied up together, isn’t it? Look. Why don’t you go and have a shower, and then we could all go out to the café if you like? My treat.”

***

“I missed this, you know, after we finished the last stint,” Bernie said shyly as their order arrived at their table. “I know it’s a business arrangement, of course I do, but it was always such a welcome part of my week, catching up with you here.”

There was that warm smile again, the one she loved to see blooming on Serena’s attractive face.

“I enjoyed it, too - still do. Not all my clients are as easy to spend time with, I can tell you! And it’s not _just_ business, you know - I hope I’m not overstepping the mark when I say I think of you as much as a friend as a client.”

The last hint of formality dissolved, they chatted as easily as old friends until Cameron’s whingeing made them realise the time, and they walked back to Bernie’s together. Once home, Serena stepped back somewhat.

“I’ll let you settle her for her nap on your own - best to maintain habits, especially now with the change with her father.” She took a book out of her handbag and settled down to read in the living room. By the time Bernie came back down an hour or so later, she was snoozing peacefully, her feet tucked up beneath her and her cheek resting on a cushion. Bernie looked at her fondly, and wondered how she would be managing right now were it not for this wonderful woman. She picked up the book Serena had dropped and started reading it herself, but before long, she had followed Serena’s example, and the two women dozed in the warm afternoon sunlight.

***

Serena continued to maintain a professional distance as far as childcare was concerned, but all the same, Cameron and Charlotte had adjusted to her presence in the house very well. For Bernie’s part, it felt like a soft and lovely dream. She had support and companionship and understanding - none of which she really felt Marcus had been providing her. She knew she ought to be more upset about his departure, but she just couldn’t bring herself to mind, and their phone calls were strangely untroubled. He had met the children at the park a couple of times during the week, but Bernie had asked him not to come back to the house just yet, as she felt it would be too confusing for the children when he wasn’t going to be moving back in. She had surprised herself with how confidently and calmly she had delivered this message, and was even more surprised at how well he had taken it. Perhaps this separation had been inevitable, she mused. The timing was lousy, but they were both happier for it.

As the week drew on, despite Serena’s boundaries with the children, she and Bernie grew ever closer. Once the children were in bed, they would share a meal in front of the telly - Serena was a good cook, and quite happy to potter about in the kitchen while Bernie was upstairs - and the odd glass of wine. It was quite the most contented Bernie could remember being for a long time. 

On the last evening of Serena’s residence, she cooked a meal for Bernie - nothing fancy, but when Bernie came downstairs it was to find the table set, a bottle of wine open and even a couple of candles lit. Something rich and savoury was bubbling away on the hob, and she could see that there was a pan of pasta on the boil too.

“Serena, this is lovely! You’ve gone to so much trouble - I was going to suggest a takeaway!”

“I wanted to pamper you a little tonight - I’ll miss all of this,” Serena said with a simple honesty.

“So will I. I hope we can still meet up from time to time - as friends, I mean?”

“We will, Bernie, we will. Now sit down and let me wait on you hand and foot tonight,” she said, dispelling the tension with a sudden cheery brusqueness.

The meal was delicious, and the wine went down as well as the food. Bernie felt mellow and happy in a way that felt quite new, but felt like coming home, as well. She gazed across the table through the candle light at Serena, and thought how much better her life had been since Serena had been in it. Living with Marcus seemed like a lifetime away, and she knew now that Charlotte had almost certainly been picking up on the tension between them. There was tension between her and Serena too, she thought, but of a quite different kind. She wondered if Serena felt it as well.

As Serena stood to clear the plates, Bernie said quite suddenly and without knowing she was going to say it, “I wish you could stay.”

Serena stopped in her tracks, her back to Bernie, and when she put the plates down and turned round, there was a look on her face that Bernie couldn’t interpret, and her voice was careful and controlled.

“I’d like that too, Bernie. But I don’t think it would be a very good idea, do you?”

They stared at each other, both feeling vulnerable and shocked that they had spoken aloud. Bernie stood and moved to the other woman, standing just close enough to - and then they were kissing, their arms full of each other, hands soothing and assuring and certain.

When they broke apart, it was not with a start, or a shock, but a natural slowing and easing, and they stood with their arms still loosely around each other, their foreheads touching.

Bernie laughed shakily. “What was that about it not being a good idea?”

Serena let her hands drop at last, and looked at her sadly.

“It’s not, you know. And I have a rule - absolutely no relationships with clients. Though I haven’t needed to invoke it before now,” she admitted.

Bernie’s hands were still on her hips and she gave them a little shove. “If you weren’t due to finish tomorrow I’d fire you right now,” she said with a smile. “It’s a good rule, but it’s a moot point by now, isn’t it?”

But Serena laid her hands over Bernie’s and gently moved them. “It is, you’re right. But Bernie, you’ve just left your husband, and you have a small baby, and - everything’s going to seem intense to you at the moment. You’ve had a lot going on, and I don’t want to be just a reaction to all of that. You need time to process it all, to decide what’s really right for you. I’m not going anywhere - well, I am - I’m going home tomorrow - but I’ll be here when you’ve had time to breathe and to think.”

She raised a hand to Bernie’s cheek and wiped away a tear. Her other hand found Bernie’s and squeezed it. “You mean too much to me to let us do this too soo, too quickly. I’m going to go to bed now, and I’ll be off in the morning, but we’ll go for coffee on Wednesday, OK? We’ll keep meeting up, and talking, and getting to know each other, and we’ll see how it goes. Talk to Marcus, talk to your friends - and keep talking to me.”

“At least you didn’t blame my hormones,” Bernie said glumly, then gave a little laugh. “Thank you for that. I’d better say goodnight, then. Can I at least kiss you again?”

It was the sweetest goodnight kiss despite the tears, and to her astonishment, Bernie slept like a baby that night.

***

_Happy birthday dear Charlotte,_  
_Happy birthday to you!_

Bernie and Marcus “helped” their daughter blow out the single candle as the chorus subsided into laughter and clapping. They looked fondly at one another and smiled.

“We’ve done alright by her, haven’t we, Bern...ie?” Marcus corrected himself just in time.

“We have. You’re a good father - they’re lucky to have you.”

“And they’re lucky to have you,” Marcus replied. “ _Both_ of you.” He smiled happily at Serena as she put down the camera and started cutting up the cake. “You’re so good with them both, Serena - and so good for Bernie, too. I’m so glad you found each other. It’s worked out well in the end, hey?”

He wasn’t so bad really, Serena thought. Just a man who’d made some mistakes, and who had taken the consequences on the chin. He never had moved back in, but he had make sterling efforts to be a better father, and offered all the support in his gift to Bernie. He was in the tentative early stages of a new relationship himself, though he was adamant that any new partner would have to accept him and Bernie and Serena and their funny little family as they were.

“Will you stay over tonight, Marcus? You know the spare room’s always at your disposal.” Bernie’s offer was genuine and warm, but Marcus shook his head.

“I’ll stay for a drink once we’ve got the kids to bed, but I promised Mum I’d go straight round to show her some Polaroids of today. She was so sorry she couldn’t make it today.”

The light was fading as Bernie and Serena stood at the door and waved him off, and once he had gone, they went back inside and locked up. The place was clean now - you would never guess there had been a messy children’s party earlier - and Serena moved to the living room, her mind on the comfy sofa. But Bernie tugged at her hand and drew her towards the stairs.

“Early night” Serena asked.

“Yes and no,” came the reply from Bernie, who had most definitely decided what she wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Redvines Day!


End file.
